In contrast to the guy in An Option, Not a Priority, there is a guy the proved to be much more intentional. The first date, he took me to an amazing hole-in-the-wall sushi place and proceeded to order the finest sashimi cuts and catches... we had various types of raw fish and crunchy delicious prawns. The typical rainbow roll was nowhere to be seen. This was an experience. I liked that he liked sushi, I liked that it was healthy, and I liked his impressive knowledge of types of sushi. It was so special, and we topped it off with a large sake to share.
We hooked up on this first date, and then I cried. Because I still wasn't fully over my last breakup, and I told him not to ghost me. To which he replied not to ghost him. A couple months passed of periodically seeing each other, some dates and some hanging out at his place. Then I didn't make as much effort to track him down because another guy came into the picture who showed maximum initiative - take meeting my parents and family at Christmas last minute. That was bold. However, sushi guy reconnected with me, texting where did he go wrong? And I could tell he still had a desire to get to know me and spend time with me.
I responded though, with candor. I said it is the guys that make plans and take me out on a Saturday that I fall for. Also the fact that he had called his ex-girlfriends crazy and his mom and sister needy made me wonder if I wanted to be a woman in his life. He told me it was only one girlfriend and I later made him confirm this - its true she did attack him to some extent and spread rumors about him. He said he really does care for his family and texts them all the time. I decided to give him a further chance, and he proceeded to make plans to take me that Thursday (a dinner date), Saturday (another cute dinner date), the following Wednesday (a casual but healthy dinner date), Sunday (because he was in LA Saturday)(him cooking dinner for me), and Tuesday (Valentine's Day).
To these actions I approve. Then he sent me a text the other morning. What languages do you speak, he asked me. French and little Spanish, I said. He said he was just looking at vacations for us to take, because, and here he included some article, if you can travel with someone then you should marry them. I couldn't agree more; in fact, traveling just may be the number one requirement I have in a partner. It is partially why I don't get all on board with the guy with the sports season tickets - because I would rather be traveling somewhere lovely that spend my whole weekend driving to and from the stadium.
The other thing about this man that I am really attracted to is the way he encourages me to work out. He works out three times a week. The guy I saw briefly in the interim of meeting this sushi guy never worked out, and it ultimately became the deal breaker of an otherwise promising relationship start, where I liked pretty much everything else about the guy but his weight and personal care.
I told sushi guy I have very little to no motivation to work out by myself. I need a trainer. He thought about it and recommended to me a place called The12, which holds one-hour long circuit training classes with about twenty participants and one instructor/trainer. I went on my day off and found it to be super motivating! I totally gave sushi guy credit for the great recommendation. I like that this guy leads in this realm.
To recap, sushi guy put effort and expenses into us starting at the very first date, and he plans dates twice a week. Even if it started at my mentioning it, the fact that he went for it says something. He wants to travel with me and sent me that article that if you can travel with someone you should marry them. And he keeps me fit and eating healthy. Oh, did I mention he's also stylish. We spent a good half hour Wednesday night discussing what outfit would be best for his important Thursday meetings... I love styling men, they are just so good looking when they wear well-fitting clothes. He showed me some of his collection of gorgeous leather shoes and some of his leather bound watches... and some things on his wishlist online... expensive shoes that run around $800. Hey, a guy can dream. But I love all these about him - they are all healthy things in a relationship, none of these are harmful or destructive in any way, and they are things we share in common and enjoy doing together.